Post Scripts of a Writer

THE LIGHTNING THIEF by Rick Riordan

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 17:14:46 GMT

The Writer's Book Club is meeting today at my WordPress site to discuss THE LIGHTNING THIEF by Rick Riordan. If you've read the book, you're welcome to stop by!

Taking Care of Business

Thu, 14 Jan 2010 19:33:06 GMT

I forgot to announce this sooner: the book for the February's WBC will be THE LIGHTNING THIEF, by Rick Riordan (appropriate for ages nine and up). Discussion will start February 3rd, with a focus on modifying mythology for contemporary novels. THE LIGHTNING THIEF movie releases February 12th, so I hope all of you will read the book before seeing the movie!

Speaking of the book club, I need your vote. Would you rather have the discussion on WordPress, like we did for SHIVER in December, or on LiveJournal, like we did in January? Please let me know which site you prefer, and majority will rule. Thank you!

I haven't posted links in awhile; here are a few gems I had to share:

The best marketing for your book is based on the best use of your time, from the ever-helpful Nathan Bransford.

If you have finished writing a YA novel, you might be interested in these two contests.

Click here to learn more about a developing genre called New Adult, with protagonists aged 18-26.

What other business am I forgetting? I'll be back on Saturday with a post about revision!

Official "Share Your Writing Space" Day

Sat, 09 Jan 2010 05:37:11 GMT

So it's not an official holiday . . . I made it up. Just go with it, okay??

Back in December, I talked about revamping your writing space as a way to inspire yourself. Well, I've been fixing up my office, and I'm finally ready to share some pics! I'm happy with it for now, but no doubt it will change in the future. The next project will be turning my door into storyboard central via magnetic paint.

Before we even moved into this house, I knew I wanted my office to combine some of my favorite things: books, nature, and the color green. I don't like sitting at my desk on beautiful days, so I decided to bring nature into my office. I wasn't sure how it would turn out, but it surpassed my expectations. Now it's my favorite room in the house, my sanctuary. I smile every time I enter it. I'm looking forward to spending many, many hours in this room.

This office would not exist without the help of my wonderful husband. First he helped me paint the room green, and then he made this desk for me. See the funny corner of the room---it juts out a little, making a typical corner desk impossible. He had to make the two sides separately, based on the wall measurements, and then fit them together. The desktop is plywood, but the legs and shelves are made from oak from his parents' woods.

He also helped me make and hang the bulletin board. I picked out the fabric (leaves and branches) which we stretched over a corkboard/cardboard combination. Then I tacked on the ribbons. Right now the board holds pictures, memorabilia, quotes, and anything else I find beautiful or inspiring. When the revision process gets crazier, I'm sure I'll have a million Post-it notes up there.

I thought my two filing cabinets were ugly, so I covered them with pictures of nature scenes. The desk doesn't have drawers, so I use the pretty boxes for pens and other supplies. I have two trays for papers I need to file, projects I'm working on, or things I can't forget to do. The very top shelf has all my writing books. The horizontal books on the corner are books I'm currently reading (a strange combo of PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, BEAUTIFUL CREATURES, and CALL OF THE RIVER).

I bought a new chair, which you can barely see in this pic because of the green crocheted blanket. Hey, sometimes my legs get cold.

This is the other side of the office, aka the guest bedroom. Come visit me, and this is where you will sleep. Overnight guests are rare though, so I use it when I want to curl up with a book. Or sometimes I just lie on the bed and stare up at the posters (prairie scenes). The bookcase in the corner is my YA/MG bookcase, which brings me much joy.

This pic shows the storage under the bed. Three of the drawers hold extra sheets and blankets, and two drawers hold computer supplies. To add to the natural decor, I bought bamboo shades for the two windows. It's currently night, but the bamboo lets in so much light during the day---I love them!

I could go on and on in exhaustive detail, but I've probably put you to sleep already. I invite you to celebrate Share Your Writing Space Day! If you have a blog, website, or Facebook profile, post your writing space pictures; then put the link in a comment on this post so we can all check it out! If you have no way of sharing a public link, simply describe your favorite things about your writing space. No writing space? Then tell us about your dreams for a future one!

The Writer's Book Club is still discussing WHEN YOU REACH ME---stop by if you've read the book! Have a good weekend, everyone!

WHEN YOU REACH ME by Rebecca Stead

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 07:02:27 GMT

The Writer's Book Club, which was hosted on my website last month, will now have a trial run here on LiveJournal. WordPress has less-than-ideal commenting features, so we'll try LJ and see if that works better. If everyone prefers the original location, we'll go back there next month!

This discussion is open to anyone--whether or not you're a writer, whether or not I know you, and whether or not you've participated in WBC before. The more, the merrier! Drop us a one-liner or a book report or anything in between. I only ask that everyone be respectful of the author and fellow commenters.

You do not need a LiveJournal account to comment. Simply mark the "Anonymous" bubble. Then type your comment in the "Message" box, type your first name at the bottom of the message, and click "Post Comment." If you want to respond to an already-posted comment, click on that comment's "Reply" link. A new box will pop up below the old comment. That person, in turn, can reply to your comment, and so on and so forth. Or someone else can jump into the conversation. Thus, a hierarchy of comments will form, very easy to follow with a mere glance (no more endless scrolling and trying to keep track of who said what). If you have any technical difficulties, please let me know!

January's book is WHEN YOU REACH ME by Rebecca Stead. To keep from spoiling the book for those who haven’t read it yet, I’ll post the discussion questions in the first comment of this post. If you have read the book, click on “Leave a comment” to respond with your thoughts. If you haven’t read it, then what are you waiting for?

One thing I need to explain for the sake of the discussion questions--the difference between foreshadowing and telegraphing. In the words of Rachelle Gardner:

Foreshadowing is when you purposely drop tiny hints about what's going to happen later in the novel, to heighten the effect or the suspense. It might not even be a hint, but an image or idea that thematically relates to whatever's going to happen later. It's like subtle shading to plant tiny, even imperceptible, seeds in your reader's mind.

Telegraphing is giving away too much, too soon, thereby ruining the suspense, or the impact of the event.

End quote.

So with that in mind . . . let the discussion begin!

Resolutions for 2010

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 05:59:14 GMT

I didn't have time to post resolutions earlier in the week . . . and now it's January!! Snuck up on me somehow. Out with the old decade, in with the new. It drives me a little crazy to think of years and decades passing so quickly. 2009 bombarded me, like a year-long kickboxing session. I'm hoping 2010 will be more like yoga. RIGHT, sure it will.

Usually I post my resolutions from the year before to see how I fared. This year the results are embarrassing! I only accomplished two of my seven professional goals in 2009: 1) improving the website and starting a Facebook page, and 2) reading 65 or more books. In my defense (that is, to make excuses for myself), I did go through some life-changing ordeals. 2009 was about survival; 2010 will hopefully be the year of writing!

Because I love to talk about books, I'll sidetrack and chat about the 77 books I read in 2009 . . .

~ 64 were audiobooks! I almost met my goal by auditory means alone!

~ 58 were Young Adult or Middle Grade novels.

~ 47 had some type of fantasy element. It's too time-consuming to differentiate between high fantasy, urban fantasy, contemporary fantasy, and futuristic stories.

~ I read books by 46 different authors. In the second half of the year, I decided to broaden my horizons and try several new authors. 29 of the 46 authors I just discovered this year. My favorites of the new authors I tried: John Green, Tamora Pierce, E. Lockhart, Markus Zusak, Suzanne Collins, Shannon Hale, Francisco Stork, Maggie Stiefvater, Rebecca Stead, and Kristen Cashore. Some of these are fairly new authors, but most have been around for awhile. Why did I wait so long to read their books??

~ Only two were nonfiction (and a third was based on a true story). That's rather sad. I read partials of nonfiction all the time, but I rarely sit down to read a nonfiction book from cover to cover. Ironically, I'm in the middle of a nonfiction audiobook right now, but that will have to wait for the 2010 book list.

~ I gave a top ranking (five stars) to 27 of the books . . . which means over a third of the books I read were excellent. And 44 books received four stars. 2009 was hard in a lot of ways, but it might just be the BEST. READING. YEAR. EVER.

Okay, I'll try to reign in the book joy for now. It will resume on Wednesday with the discussion of WHEN YOU REACH ME (by Rebecca Stead, mentioned above!). For now, I suppose I should get back to the whole point of this post---my 2010 resolutions:

1. Work on the second draft of TRE in January and February.
2. Send TRE to critique partners in March; work on third draft.
3. Attend at least one writer's conference.
4. Finish TRE and query agents.
5. Start on TRE sequel or rewrite EOL.
6. Read fifty books.

In case you're wondering why I might drop from 77 books to 50---I'm guessing I'll have less audiobooks. This new house is smaller (thus less cleaning) and has a dishwasher. Cleaning and washing dishes used to be my best audiobook time! Plus I'll be trying to write like a madwoman, so that means less reading of the paper variety. I'll do my best to average a book a week.

More personally, my husband and I resolve to read devotions and exercise together every day (alternating Pilates and kettlebell). We figure we can hold each other accountable that way. My son is usually in bed by seven, so we're setting aside 7:00-8:00 PM for devotions/exercise/household chores. Then I get to write for the rest of the evening, and everyone is happy.

Ellie recently made a very good point: "I want to write for the rest of my life, so I need to make writing a healthy habit instead of an obsessive one." That's not a direct quote (sorry, Ellie, I can't remember exactly what you said!), but you get the idea. Don't shut yourself away and write in every spare second. Find a way to balance family, exercise, writing, and other priorities. Then you're less likely to get burnt out on any one thing. Easier said than done? We'll see how balance works in 2010.

Don't forget---book club on Wednesday! And I'll resume WERE next Saturday!

Happy New Year!!

WERE 4: Revising the Joy

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 05:52:11 GMT

*cross-posted from http://emrowan.com*

Hope everyone had a very, Merry Christmas! I can't believe this is the last Saturday of 2009. Next week if I have time, I'll blog about my favorite books of '09 and my New Year's resolutions. One of my resolutions is to finish my novel, which means I need to wrap up these preparations for the second draft and actually get started on the thing. So without further ado, the last December edition of Winter's Editing and Revising Extravaganza!

In my opinion, one of the hardest things about writing a novel is seeing "the big picture." Yeah, I can sit down to reread my manuscript, but my mind tends to focus only on the words I'm currently reading---or maybe the current scene or chapter, if I'm lucky. So how can I step away from the words and see how all the scenes and chapters fit together into one complete story? How can I study the novel's timeline, or the appearances of a character, or missing plot elements?

The solution: a storyboard. I think "storyboard" was originally a Hollywood term, used by movie or TV-show producers to describe a sequence of drawings representing the shots they plan to film. But writers can also use a storyboard to represent the scenes in a novel. If you like to draw (stick figures welcome), then feel free to create an artistic storyboard! If not, consider these other possibilities . . .

Visualize Scenes with a Storyboard, courtesy of Editor Unleashed. Read the comments from that post for more ideas of how to storyboard (such as using photos instead of drawings).

Kate Messner's revision process relies on Scrivener writing software, which includes a virtual bulletin board with different colored notecards. One color represents school scenes, another color for home scenes, another for extracurricular scenes, etc.

If you don't have appropriate writing software, do it the old-fashioned way! For instance, Caitlin Kittredge's notecards and bulletin board work well for revisions. She uses one color of notecard for existing chapters, a second color for the changes needed for existing chapters, and a third color for brand new chapters (she went from 25 chapters to 40). So if a card for each scene sounds too daunting, try a card for each chapter.

Post-it Digital Notes is another type of computer software you can use to organize your story. Or get real Post-its (of different colors) and stick them on a table or on the walls of your office/bedroom!

Some authors brainstorm with a whiteboard and marker. Others write scenes/chapters on pages of paper and hang them from laundry lines! Another common practice is to enter the scenes into a spreadsheet (Excel or other program), which allows you to easily change the order of the cells. I'm thinking about painting my office door with magnetic paint; then I could rearrange scenes using notecards and magnets.

It doesn't really matter which method you use---find what works for you. Once you've chosen a method, decide on the focus of your storyboard. I might focus on plot (the mystery, mythology, subplots, etc) and the characters (best friend, love interest, mother, etc) to get a big-picture view of how much time I spent on each plot thread and each character. I may be focusing too much on one aspect and neglecting others. A good balance makes for a stronger book.

Any questions about storyboards? Any ideas you'd like to share??

I'm not sure what will happen on next Saturday's post---I'm flying by the seat of my pants at the moment. But if you want, use this Christmas break to prepare for revisions based on the WERE advice. Then jump into a new draft on January 1st!

And don't forget to read WHEN YOU REACH ME by Rebecca Stead. Book club discussion begins Jan. 6th!

WERE 1: Rediscovering the Writing Joy

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 02:49:43 GMT

I'm having so much fun with the book club, I almost forgot to write this post! Continuing the week of debuts, today is the start of Winter's Editing & Revising Extravaganza (WERE)!

A brief rundown of what you can expect from WERE. Every Saturday in December, I will discuss ways to prepare for your novel's second draft. Then in January, we'll dive into our second drafts with checklists, exercises, and motivational mojo. This will probably carry over into February, since I doubt I can finish my second draft in one month. Please let me know if you have specific questions about second drafts, and I'll do my best to answer them.

So maybe you just finished a first draft for National Novel Writing Month (NaNo). Or maybe you're like me, and your first draft has sat on the back burner for months. Either way, my goal is to help you edit and revise that first draft.

If you just finished NaNo---don't read your novel yet. Take a break from it and refresh yourself. Some people suggest one or two weeks without looking at it, others say one or two months. I'd recommend taking December off (which is already crazy with the holidays) and conquering that NaNo novel in the new year. The idea is to remove yourself from the web of your story and then return with some degree of objectivity. If we are too close to our work, it's harder to delete the bad or unnecessary scenes.

If your first draft has been collecting dust for awhile, you won't have to worry about objectivity. But you may have to worry about motivation. Perhaps you're thinking, "Should I really waste my time rewriting this antique piece of junk? Maybe I should just start over with something new." Or perhaps your current schedule seems too full. After a long break from writing, it can be hard to get back in the swing of it.

I happen to believe that all first drafts deserve a chance at a second draft. Sure, it may seem like junk now . . . but revision can do wonders. Plus, revision time is never a waste. You'll learn so much about writing in the process of rewriting.

So if you're willing to try but don't know how to start, look no farther . . .

The Five R's of Rediscovering the Writing Joy:

1. Revisit. What made you first fall in love with the story idea? A place? A person? A song? Whatever it was, return to it. I like to spend time in nature for my inspiration. And if I hear a song from my first-draft playlist, I'm immediately transported into the story. I also try to find new, exciting songs for the second draft. The story may be old, but it has the potential for new and better things.

2. Revamp. Need a change of pace from your old writing routine? How about a change of scenery? Try creating a unique writing space for yourself. I realize not everyone has sole access to an office/writing room, but maybe you could carve a niche in your bedroom or other room. Renovate an old desk, decorate the walls with things from your story, and make the space comfortable and user-friendly. After all the work you put into it, you'll feel guilty if you don't make good use of it!

3. Readjust. If you're anything like me, free time sounds like some distant dream. If you can't find time to write, then you make time. Writers don't just wake up inspired and type all day (and if they do, I'm insanely jealous). They probably snatch precious writing moments out of a crazy schedule. So stop and think about your typical schedule. If necessary, keep a detailed journal for a couple days. Do you have times when you're waiting for class or riding the bus? Any television programs you could live without? Cut what you can and take advantage of every minute. Even thirty minutes of writing per day can add up to a finished second draft.

4. Read. Ever read a fabulous book and felt inspired to write? I know I have. Reading will not only make you a better writer, it will also motivate you to write your own book for others to read. Read fiction for fun, and read nonfiction to learn more about the subjects in your story. You'll need a notebook, or writing software, or some type of file for keeping track of your research. I know this sounds like work, but it's essential for making your stories realistic and credible.

5. Reward. Hey, our human natures demand something in return for the hard work of editing and revising. So set a goal and pick a suitable reward. Write it down and stick it to your wall or desk. Something like, If I finish my second draft, I get to splurge on books/a writing conference/a new desk/enter most coveted wish here. Personally, my reward is getting to send the story to my critique partners. I can't bear to let them see the first draft, even though I'm dying to share the story with them. So I'll keep them in mind as I struggle with the second draft, like dangling a carrot in front of a donkey. Speaking of critique partners, recruit them to cheer you on! They can crack the whip if necessary, or nag you, or bribe you, or beg you to "finish the dang thing so I can read it already!" A good critique partner is worth his or her weight in gold.

Your assignment this week, if you choose to accept it: get started on the five R's. Fall in love with writing again. Treat yourself to a remodeled work space. Schedule in writing/reading time. Read a book and start researching (this could take all month and more). Think of a reward for finishing your second draft.

Then report back here! I want to hear about your progress and your ideas. Need help? Just ask! And tune in next Saturday for more!

SHIVER by Maggie Stiefvater

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 06:43:22 GMT

Today is the debut of the Writer's Book Club! As I announced last month, the book for December is SHIVER by Maggie Stiefvater. For more details about the WBC or SHIVER, see my earlier post. If you have read the book, visit my website to take part in the discussion!

By the way, we'll meet again on January 6th for the discussion of our next book: WHEN YOU REACH ME by Rebecca Stead, appropriate for ages nine and up. It's an intriguing story with a little bit of science fiction weaved in. The focus of my questions will be on foreshadowing. Order it from the library or put it on your wish list!

Schedules, Lists, & Goals, Oh My!

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 07:32:21 GMT

Quote of the day from Mahtab Narsimhan: "I set a reward before I start writing and will allow myself that reward only if I finish the quota for the day. Normally that entails surfing the Net or writing a nice long e-mail to a friend; stuff that usually makes me feel extremely guilty if I have written nothing on any given day! I’m very strict with myself. No quota=no reward. On the other hand, when I finish the word count for the day and go a little over, that itself is a huge reward. I’m then compelled to do it all over again the next day, just to feel that same sense of relief and accomplishment." End quote.

I like this philosophy. The thing about philosophies---you have to find one that works for you. For instance, I would have to tweak Mahtab's philosophy, because she writes from 6:30 to 8:30 AM. I'm not a morning person. I would still be asleep at 8:30 if my son didn't drag me out of bed at 7:30. My brain barely functions before noon.

Step 1: Find a philosophy and make it my own.

Writing is important to me, but it's not my life. On my list of priorities, familiy comes before writing. That is why I like to write at night---when my family is asleep. Writing is my reward for taking care of my famiy during the day.

Step 2: Rank my list of priorities.

Anyone who reads this blog knows I am a Type A personality; my hobbies include organizing and scheduling. I get a thrill from making t0-do lists. Okay, now I'm exaggerating (not really). But I do think I thrive under a schedule, preferably one with built-in goals and rewards. The trick is not being too hard on myself when I fall short of my goals.

Step 3: Decide on short-term and long-term goals.

So these are my three steps. Feel free to use them or adapt them for your own needs.

Ideally, I could dive into writing right away. But you know I wouldn't make it that easy for myself! Next week is Thanksgiving, and then we'll start THE HOLIDAYS. Enter family gatherings, friendly get-togethers, shopping, gift-giving, card-mailing, decorating, school breaks, traveling, cooking, eating, and much more. I know none of these things should be the real focus of the season, but my family is still a priority over writing. Thus, the following schedule:

December: reading /preparing for 2nd draft of TRE.
January to March: 2nd draft of TRE.
April to May: 3rd draft (maybe more, based on feedback).
June: queries?

Dear website readers, I have not forgotten you. But since I throw myself into projects, this time I'm dragging you with me.

Some of you remember "Summer's Ultimate Novel" (SUN), in which I discussed first drafts. So what's the logical sequel? You got it---a discussion of second drafts. I'll introduce this second-draft project on Saturday. And in April, a project on third drafts. Very predictable of me, right?

Would anyone like to share a personal writing schedule or list of writing goals? Let's motivate each other, shall we?

The Writer's Fairy Tale

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 04:14:33 GMT

Once upon a time, I wrote a novel.

Sounds like a fairy tale, doesn't it? Many people dream about writing a novel; but how many see that dream come true?

Yet, what does "I wrote a novel" really mean? Do the 50,000 words from NaNoWriMo constitute a novel? Or is it the completed second draft? Third? Fourth? Tenth? What if it's never published---does it still count?

Once upon a time, I wrote a 93,000-word novel. I completed four or five drafts, let some people read it, and sent it to literary agents. No takers. Now I have ideas of how to make the story better. So what once seemed like a finished novel now seems like a project requiring much more work (which would be the case even if I had an agent or editor).

Back in February and March, I wrote the first draft of a second novel, this one 80,000 words. Yeah, the first draft is complete . . . but the remaining drafts stretch before me. No one has read more than fragments of it. I almost loathe to talk about it, because I feel like I should have finished it by now. Whatever "finished" means.

Last year, I had an idea for a third novel---about angels. I thought if the second novel didn't work out, I might try writing the angel novel. It's in that fun brainstorming stage, where I get to daydream about it in spare moments. Every day it gets slightly more defined in my mind.

This week I've read several blogs. Apparently, angels are the "next big thing in publishing" (following the path of vampires and fairies). Some agents and editors are specifically saying, "Do not send me any stories about angels," because they're getting mobbed by angels.

Well. A year of brainstorming down the drain. Why couldn't I have written that book first, before angels were old news?

It's times like this when I get very frustrated with the writing business. Don't get me wrong---I still respect the publishing industry. I especially love the advocates of children's books, whether they be authors, agents, editors, or whoever. I read as much as I can and learn as much as I can. But the problem I struggle with---the publishing industry is literally changing every day. Now we have to consider self-publishing, e-books, iPhone apps, podcasting novels, etc. Each day I wonder, "Am I wasting my time with this approach? Maybe I should try something new."

I think I'm mainly frustrated with myself. It's probably the OCD perfectionist in me. I wish I could write faster, or manage my time better, or somehow just capture those ideas in my head and get them on paper before the world-of-publishing-as-we-know-it changes again. I can never find enough time to do all the reading and writing that I want to do. I don't know how to finish a book.

I usually come across as optimistic. Maybe some of you, who expect my usual cheeriness, are now concerned for my state of mind. Please, no need to worry. I am fine. But I realized today . . . I shouldn't always pretend that writing is all sunshine and unicorns. Because no writer is problem-free. Even bestselling authors have worries and problems (such as, you know, deadlines. Which I have none). And I don't want the writers who read this site to think, "Oh, Erin is always so optimistic. She must be a better writer than I am, because I worry about my writing every day. I think I'll stop writing forever."

Please, for the love of ice cream, do not think that. If you're wondering whether or not you should write, consider these two lists . . .

Erin's List of Reasons NOT to Write:

1. For money.
2. For book-signing tours, movie deals, and rubbing elbows with Robert Pattinson.
3. Because it's easy, stress-free, and relaxing.
4. Because you'll get to choose all details of your published book, from the cover to every last word.
[Deleted for lack of space: reasons #5 through #914]

Erin's List of Reasons TO Write:

1. Because you don't feel happy otherwise.

No wonder I'm grumpy today. I haven't written a word of fiction in approximately seven months. For the sake of my sanity (and yours), I better get back to writing soon.

I don't need to be published to be happy. I don't even need to finish a book. But I do have to write. Next week, I'll come up with a schedule to make writing possible again.

I might be too old for fairy tales (might), but I'm not too old for happiness.

Had to Share

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 06:37:40 GMT

Editor Unleashed and Smashwords are teaming up to sponsor a writing contest (no entry fee!). Submit an essay (750 words or less) about why you write. Deadline is Dec. 31st. To enter the contest, you must be a registered member of the Editor Unleashed forums (which is also free; but if you're under 13, you might need parental consent). Grand prize winner will receive $500. Fifty best essays will be included in an anthology.

I visited a great site for young writers, "Write Like Crazy," created by Mary Jo Campbell. She teaches writing workshops for young people in Downers Grove, Illinois (and much more). This month she's posting prompts for those of you participating in NaNoWriMo. She also features author interviews and info for writing contests. Subscribe to her blog for continuing inspiration!

Rachelle Gardner offered advice about incorporating backstory into your novel. Excerpt: "Think of backstory as a precious commodity of which you are the guardian. You will release it on a need-to-know basis. Only give the reader what they need for that moment of the story, just little bits here and there."

All the links for now. I've become very picky concerning linkage. More about that on Saturday ...

Help New Moon Girls

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:35:46 GMT

New Moon Girls is not based on the book by Stephenie Meyer. NMG is a magazine and online community for girls aged 8 to 12. They don't focus on fashion, make-up, or boys. NMG empowers girls around the world to express themselves, share stories and artwork, and aspire to new goals.

Unfortunately, NMG is struggling this year like many other businesses. They have until December 31st to break even or else they will close down. If they can gain 250 subscriptions, they'll stay in business.

You can help in many ways:

1. Order subscriptions as Christmas gifts for the young girls in your life. Right now they're offering a holiday special.
2. If you don't know any girls ages 8-12, consider subscriptions for your local library, school, or programs serving low-income girls. Or click here to donate memberships.
3. Share this link via email, Facebook, or Twitter to reach many possible supporters.
4. Every dollar counts. If you have questions about how to help or would like to become an investor, contact NMG.

I wish I'd had a magazine like this when I was a girl. It's too late for me, but not too late for girls today. Please enrich a girl in your life by supporting New Moon Girls. Teach her to write, create, speak, and stand up for herself. Such a gift is priceless

Introducing the Writer's Book Club

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 05:40:47 GMT

I survived the move into the new house (barely), and now I'm officially on vacation! Not a real vacation, but a chance to catch up on sleep, reading, and all things Internet. I can't guarantee regular blogging yet, but I did want to announce the start of the Writer's Book Club!

This will be an online book club---if you want, participate from the comfort of your home while wearing pajamas! No one will see you or even hear your voice. I'll announce the book; approximately a month later, I'll create a discussion post. Everyone is welcome to join in and comment as much as you want. My only rule is that you be respectful of the author and other people's opinions (I'll probably think of more rules later on, but that's all I've got for now). Feel free to calmly disagree with the author or readers, but I'll delete comments such as, "This club sucks! I'm right and you're wrong! This is the worst book in the history of the world!" You get the idea.

While brainstorming ideas for how the book club would work, Ellie had a great suggestion: " ... then on the blog we talk about what writing was good in the book, and what writing was bad, so then it’s not just about the story, but we’re studying it from a writer’s perspective. We could even take it deeper and read one book because the author is famous for giving good descriptions, and another that is good at story-pace, and one that is good at back story ..."

I immediately pounced on this idea. How many book clubs study from a writer's perspective? Maybe lots, I don't know. But I like it, so I'm incorporating it. That does not mean you must be a writer in order to join the club. Anybody who wants to read books is welcome. We'll still be discussing the story, characters, favorite parts, etc. But if you're a writer, it's like an extra bonus. I hope you'll learn something new by studying each book.

So without further ado, the first book to be studied by the WBC (which sounds like a TV network, does it not?) is . . . SHIVER by Maggie Stiefvater!

SHIVER released in August of this year as a hardcover. If you can't buy it, check it out from the library. Here's the blurb from the inside cover:

Grace has spent years watching the wolves in the woods behind her house. One yellow-eyed wolf---her wolf---watches back. He feels deeply familiar to her, but she doesn't know why.

Sam has lived two lives. As a wolf, he keeps the silent company of the girl he loves. And then, for a short time each year, he is human, never daring to talk to Grace . . . until now.

For Grace and Sam, love has always been kept at a distance. But once it's spoken, it cannot be denied. Sam must fight to stay human---and Grace must fight to keep him---even if it means taking on the scars of the past, the fragility of the present, and the impossibility of the future.

SHIVER is a Young Adult book, labeled for ages 13 & older. I think it would also be okay for mature twelve-year-olds. For parents who want full disclosure, the book contains a few cuss words, mild violence, and a short sex scene (no graphic details). Compared to most YA books today, it's clean. If you have questions or concerns, please email me via the Contact Me page.

I'll start the discussion post on December 2nd, so you have three weeks to read it (though the post will be open indefinitely, so take as long as you want). From a writer's perspective, I'll talk about the point-of-view-switching. The book alternates between the POVs of Sam and Grace, both first-person. I thought about writing a book this way, but wasn't sure how it would work. So I want to know your thoughts on Stiefvater's technique, and whether you liked it or not. Also consider her writing style and pacing, but we'll mainly focus on POV. You might want to jot down your first impressions so you don't forget them by December.

Any questions?? If you want to join the WBC, you can leave a comment on this post, or just show up in December! Hope to see you there!

Saying Goodbye

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 06:07:37 GMT

I feel like I'm living in a warehouse, surrounded by boxes and disjointed furniture. I'm almost all packed now, except for the things we'll need for the rest of the week. Saturday morning, we move to a new home.

In many ways, I'm excited about the new house. I love the location---within walking distance of my husband's office---and the town itself. I like the neighborhood and the school district for when my son starts kindergarten. The house is cute, with lots of potential. And most importantly, we'll own it, not just rent it.

But I'm also sad. The worst part is moving farther away from friends and family. I won't get to see them as often as I do now. And I'll miss other things ...

I'll miss big sky:

I'll miss country living amongst the river bluffs:

I'll miss peace and quiet and privacy:

I'll miss unblocked sunsets:

And I'll miss the big, beautiful house that holds so many memories:

Now I must say goodbye to all these things as I begin a new stage in my life. Thank you, God, for all these blessings.

And a temporary goodbye to you, blog readers. I'll be back online in mid-November.

Last Attempt at Links

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 05:55:19 GMT

Trying to empty my inbox before I move. Pick and choose what works for you ...

The big news last week was "Should you consider self-publishing?" Christian publishing house Thomas Nelson opened a self-publishing imprint called Westbow Press. Is this the future of publishing? If so, writers will have to put up a lot of money to publish a book.

Feeling depressed by the publishing industry? Read this to feel inspired and optimistic.

And more inspiration.

Top 10 blogs for writers.

Need an excuse to step away from the computer and just relax? Here it is.

What to include in the bio paragraph of a query letter.

How Twitter helps writers.

Guidelines for word counts of novels and children's books.

Should you pay someone to edit your work?

Should you submit to editors without an agent?

Full job description of a literary agent.

The finalists of Nathan Bransford's first-paragraph contest. Nathan announces the winner of the contest and shares his thoughts on first paragraphs.

I'm all linked out. Hope it tides you over for a few weeks!

A Time for Pondering

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 05:40:32 GMT

*cross-posted from http://emrowan.com*

This will be my last Saturday post in awhile; next Saturday I'm moving! We haven't decided which Internet provider we'll use in the new house, so no guarantees on when we'll get connected. Here's the irony: two weeks after we move in, my son and I are visiting my parents for a two week vacation! So I'll definitely have Internet at their house, and maybe some time to fire up the blog.

I am obsessive when it comes to unpacking. Once we move in, I keep unpacking until I collapse in bed at night. Then I get up and do it again, and again, until the last box is emptied. Yeah, I have issues. I hate leaving things unfinished. I'll have to learn to deal with it though, cause this house will be a work-in-progress for quite awhile. Lots of little things to fix up, and possibly some remodeling in the future. Anyway, it will be good to get away for two weeks and not obsess over it!

So I hope to blog a little in November and December, and then return to a normal schedule in January. But in my absence these next few weeks, ponder the future of this website. What do you need to help you be a better writer? Because it might seem like I'm just here to ramble, but I'm actually here to help you! And I want to know the best way to approach usefulness.

A few people have expressed interest in an online book club, so I'll try to start that in December. I'm thinking we'll read and discuss one book a month. But consider the type of book club you want. Do you want me to choose the books, or do you want to choose? Should I post a lot of detailed questions, or just open the floor to discussion? Any ideas or requests?

I'm also thinking about a winter project on revision. Remember "Summer's Ultimate Novel," when I discussed the first draft process for two months? Well, the logical follow-up to that is a series on second drafts! I could start posting information in December, and then you could revise over Christmas break and January. What do you think---good idea or bad?? Any thoughts are greatly appreciated!

Well, I haven't planned much beyond that, but I'm open to suggestions. Tell me what you'd like to see, and I'll consider it! By the way, this site just reached 5000 hits! I know that's peanuts compared to some sites, but I'm easily impressed. And I love you loyal readers who visit every week. Thanks for hanging with me!

NaNoWriMo & Contest

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 04:43:37 GMT

Wow, October is almost half-over already, and I'm inwardly panicking as autumn slips away. Saturday brought snow flurries, and I realized that none of my son's mittens from last winter fit anymore. That's how prepared I am for winter.

Soon November will arrive, and November = National Novel Writing Month! If you've never heard of it, I encourage you to visit their website and learn more. The goal is to write 50,000 words in November (or pass out trying). I participated in 2007 and loved it. It's how I wrote 50K words of my first ever novel, EYES OF LIGHTNING. Once you sign up, you get your own profile page, and you can add friends and see their daily progress. Plus you'll receive inspirational emails from published authors and get the opportunity to meet other local writers. Check out this blog post, which details some of the benefits of NaNoWriMo. Over 100,000 people will sign up---why not be one of them?? I would love to do it again ... maybe next year. This year I'll be moving into a new house!

If you're 17 or younger and would like to participate---but don't think you can manage 50K words on top of school, homework, and extracurricular activities---consider NaNoWriMo's Young Writers Program. It allows you to set your own monthly goal, based on what you can reasonably achieve. Last year, 22,000 young writers took part in the program! Read the website for more info, and I'd be glad to answer any questions about my personal NaNo experience.

Now for the contest: agent Nathan Bransford is hosting another first paragraph contest. All you have to do is leave a comment with your first paragraph of choice (completed novel or work-in-progress). If chosen as the grand prize winner, Nathan will critique either a partial or a query for you. But hurry---the deadline is 4 pm on Thursday!

Our moving date is fast approaching, but I'll try to blog a couple more times before Internet silence begins.

Critique #4

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 15:25:00 GMT

I had half-planned to take a break from critiques, but then Tristan emailed me with a critique request. I couldn't say no!

Tristan is thirteen years old, and she wants to be a YA fantasy/fiction writer. This is the opening scene of the novel she's currently working on:
_________________________________________

I look down where my feet are planted in the snow. I feel the confusion sweep across my face. A minute ago I remember yelling at my older brother for using all the hot water, so I guess this is a dream. I roll my eyes and try to walk forward

Only I cant.

My brows furrow in concentration. I try to move once more, all to no avail. A growling comes from in front of me. I'm scared to look up. A few minutes past, I hear something growl again.

I look up.

The enormous wolf standing before me is not common. I feel it. My feet start to turn numb from frostbite, although I barley feel it. The wolf growls again and steps forward. I open my mouth to scream. No sound comes out. I jerk my feet back and forth, trying to move. To get away from this beast any way I can. I open my mouth again, to try once more with all my might, just to scream.

Nothing.

The wolf takes another step forward.. My heart is beating painfully against my ribs. My nightgown soaked with wet snow. The wolf takes another step forward. If it took two more steps, it would be right in front of me.
________________________________________

What I like about it:

1. The mystery! The action! The supernatural! An exciting way to start a story.

2. The single-sentence paragraphs: Only I can't ... I look up ... Nothing. I love using this technique when I write; it's great for showing emphasis.

3. The writing style fits the scene. That is, brief sentences highlight the protag's confusion and fear. If you showed up in a strange place with a werewolf, your thoughts wouldn't be flowery and long-winded. I like this short and choppy approach, as if her mind is whirling. Later in the story, when things slow down, I'd expect the writing style to adjust accordingly---longer, more detailed sentences.

What needs work:

1. The first paragraph. The protagonist (named Trixie) is yelling at her brother one minute and in the snow the next minute. How can it be a dream if she's not asleep? This is a fantasy, but it needs to be grounded in reality. No worries though---just tweak the story slightly. Either she really is sleeping and believes she's dreaming, or she is mysteriously transported from her world to a new world in the blink of an eye.

2. I don't know if this is a first draft or a later draft, but when it's time to edit, try reading the story aloud. We're so used to reading our stories, and we know what's supposed to be there. But hearing it with our ears will reveal mistakes that go unnoticed by the eyes. You'll also hear repetition, like I feel it. My feet start to turn numb from frostbite, although I barely feel it. By the way, her feet are numb from cold---too soon for frostbite.

3. Watch for changes in tense. This excerpt is all present tense until the last paragraph, where it slips into past tense.

4. Show, don't tell. I know I always say this during critiques, but everyone---even professionals---can use reminders once in awhile. Example of TELLING: I feel the confusion sweep across my face. Example of SHOWING: My heart is beating painfully against my ribs. Well done. Whenever possible, show us the REACTION to the emotion rather than saying I am [insert emotion here].

5. Maybe a little more detail about the wolf and the surroundings. Not flowery details, but something quick and choppy. Is she in a forest or a field? What's the size and color of the wolf? Is saliva dripping off its teeth?

I won't rewrite this excerpt, since I'm not sure how Tristan wants to handle the first paragraph. Besides, she's on the right track, and the little details aren't imperative at this stage of writing. The important thing is to keep writing! Tristan, thanks for sharing your excerpt with us, and good luck with the rest of your novel!!

If you have constructive criticism for Tristan, please leave a comment! I recommend suggestions balanced with praise. This is an environment for supporting and encouraging young writers. Thank you in advance for your help.

National Reading Group Month

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 04:07:44 GMT

Last week we celebrated Banned Books Week, and now we can celebrate National Reading Group Month in October. Good times in autumn! Kate Messner blogged about five ways to celebrate reading groups (aka, book clubs).

I have a confession to make---I've never been part of a book club. This probably stems from being shy as a kid, and then moving around too often as I got older. Excuses, excuses. I'm hoping our October move will be the last move in a long time, and I'll probably investigate local book club once I get settled in.

But since 90% of the books I read are YA, will I be able to find a book club dedicated to YA? Will the local teenagers let an old person like me into their club? Do teenagers even have book clubs? They already have to read and discuss books for English class ... maybe they don't have the time or motivation to join a book club outside of school. If no such book club exists, what if I started one? Would I get enough local interest to make it enjoyable and worthwhile for all?

If all else fails, I suppose I could start an online book club, LOL. Once a month we could choose a book to read, with discussion here on the website. Would anyone be interested in that, or does it seem like a silly idea?

I would love to hear your thoughts on book clubs! Are you in a club now, or have you been in the past? What do you like or dislike about them? Any advice about starting one??

Have a good week, everyone!

Banned Books Week

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 16:47:13 GMT

This is officially my "YA on Saturday" post. I'm posting it early to celebrate Banned Books Week (Sept. 26th-Oct. 3rd), and because I'll be busy all weekend.

Many blogs and websites are supporting Banned Books Week. ALA celebrates our freedom to read. And thank you to all the librarians who save as many books from banning as possible.

Laurie Halse Anderson has written very detailed blog posts about the banning attempts on her books (and others), and what you can do to help.

Watch John Green's vlog about his book, LOOKING FOR ALASKA. He says that teenagers can read critically, and to claim otherwise is condescending.

The Kids' Right to Read project interviewed Chris Crutcher, one of the most challenged authors of all time.

Nathan Bransford opened a discussion about parental discretion vs. censorship. He asks, "Should public libraries stock everything and let patrons decide what is inappropriate? What about books that, say, incite prejudice or that the majority of a community feels is inappropriate for children?" Bransford also wonders how effective censorship is now that any book is readily available via Internet.

These links are just the tip of the iceberg. I've read the POVs of many adults ... but I'd like to hear more from teenagers (adults can chime in as well!).

Do you agree with John Green, that teenagers can read critically and avoid negative influences from books? Do you feel like adults are condescending to you? Or do you appreciate their concerns for your well-being? How does it make you feel when adults want to ban books on behalf of teenagers? Do realistic books with tough issues hurt or help you?

We are blessed with freedom of speech in this country. And I think we all know that if a teenager really wanted a book, he or she would find a way to get it. Does any good come from banning books? My curious mind wants to know. At the moment, I can't see past the angst and prejudice.

Writing is to Moving ...

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 04:27:52 GMT

Some of you already know that my husband and I are in the process of buying a house. Since August, I've browsed real estate and researched our options. When we finally found a house to make an offer on, the work didn't end. Now we're dealing with the appraisal and home inspection. My website has suffered because of these distractions, and I apologize for veering off schedule. If all goes well, we should move in mid-October. I hope to resume my regular blogging by mid-November. Thank you for your patience during this craziness!

Tonight I have some free time, so I want to write a long overdue Topic. Since the move is always looming in my mind, I'll try to relate moving to writing!

In the last couple weeks, I've sorted out items for garage sales and organized the items we must keep. I'm often thinking of where our furniture will go in the new house, how to store our things, and what type of paint I need. I maintain lists of items I'll possibly buy, colors of paint I like, and decorating ideas.

When I write, I'm a plotter. Apparently, I'm also a plotter when I move.

For the past seven years, I've rented apartments or houses to live in. To finally buy a house feels both exciting and overwhelming to me. I've always had to live within constraints, never able to paint or make structural changes. Now I'm faced with vast freedom, though the commitment sometimes scares me!

I've never been a ghostwriter, but I can imagine how it must feel, working within the guidelines of someone else's story. If a ghostwriter quit a steady job and started on a fictional novel, maybe that would compare to the switch from renter to homeowner!

When I go to bed at night, it takes me a long time to fall asleep---my head is too busy with plans. My friend Syd also turned into an insomniac during her move. However, my husband hasn't lost a wink of sleep, at least not from moving (men have different kinds of worries!). He says women instinctively have to "nest." I don't know if that's true, or if the ornithologist in him just wants to compare us to birds. Either way, it reminded me of the many differences between men and women.

Which made me wonder: how do female writers differ from male writers? I honestly have no clue! Most of my close writer friends are female, and even the blogs I follow tend to be written by females (not by purposeful discrimination, I swear!). I've met a few male authors (John Green, M. T. Anderson, Mark Del Franco, Dean Lorey, Brian Kell, and more), but I never had a chance to thoroughly discuss their writing craft. The exception is my friend, Pat, one of my part-time CPs. I will have to ask him about writing with a Y chromosome. I do remember us considering a collaboration---he said he would write the action scenes, and I could write the romance. LOL!

What do you think?? Do men approach writing differently than women do? I would love to hear opinions from both genders!

I must sign off for now. More plotting, er, packing to do. Have a great week!

Link 'N Run

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 03:05:05 GMT

Tomorrow I'm leaving town for a couple days, so I better post something before I go! If you're not interested in links, please skip to below---I have a question for you!

Rachelle Gardner talks about the difference between a theme and the story and chasing your dreams. I especially liked this excerpt from Rachelle: "Whatever happens, however this journey goes for you, be assured you're not on the wrong path if you are pursuing a passion and willing to work hard. Go for it. It's all yours."

Nathan Bransford opened a discussion on how well-read a good writer should be. He also warned against claiming your book idea is completely original. An excerpt: "It isn't important that you write a novel that has never even remotely been done before. What's important is that you write it well."

Also, you know how I'm always preaching about "showing, not telling" during critiques? Nathan described it much better than I do, read it here! My favorite line: "universal emotions should not be 'told.' Instead, we should be shown how the character is reacting to their feelings." One last post from Nathan (it's hard to stop!): how it's wrong to use quotation marks for emphasis!

This week Maria Schneider is advising about self-publishing. If you've ever thought about self-publishing, you should check out her posts, including who should consider self-publishing and the right print-on-demand publisher to choose. From last week, a post about landing a book deal via Twitter.

Wish I could've gone to the Writer's Digest Conference: The Business of Getting Published. But I couldn't, so I'll settle for these Tweets and blogs featuring juicy tidbits from the conference.

Read Through the Tollbooth this week for tips on how to draft a poetry novel.

If you would like to donate money towards a publisher of children's books, consider this fundraising project for Tu Publishing. In addition, editor Stacy Whitman said: "Our first two books will be fantasy or science fiction, and I'll specifically be looking for books that feature characters of color, characters from minority or non-Western cultures, and/or non-Western/minority cultures. That's pretty broad--it could be Japanese or Jamaican, Alaskan Inuit or African American settings and/or characters, and I'm not looking for books where race is necessarily the issue--just really great stories that will entertain readers from 7 to 18 (and up, if you count me and all you folks like me!). So if you've got a children's or YA novel that you think will fit this criteria, if we make our Kickstarter goal I'll be acquiring manuscripts beginning January 1." I know at least one person who might be interested in this ... you know who you are!

Okay, that's all the links for now. Time for my question: do you want to see more critiques? I did have someone volunteer an excerpt, but I wonder if public interest is waning. Should I try something else for awhile, or forge ahead with more critiquing?

One thing I know for sure---these critiques have improved MY writing, too! A few days ago, I reread an old story of mine and found tons of mistakes. Looking for mistakes in other stories makes it easier to edit my own stories! I think it allows me to step back and use an editorial eye. Plus, the more time I spend drilling grammar and mechanics, the more it seeps into my brain. I ended up cutting about four thousand unnecessary words from my story! So I hope it helps you as much as it helps me.

Let me know what you think ... what type of post would help YOU? And have a great weekend!

Critique #3

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 02:09:29 GMT

If you're new to this critiquing business, check out Critiques #1 and #2.

If you're not new, perhaps you're wondering why I keep posting critiques. Several reasons why: 1) Generous people keep offering me excerpts---thank you! 2) I haven't received any questions to blog about, so I'm working with what I do have---critiques! 3) critiquing is more of a left-brain activity, whereas creating a topic stems from the right brain. I think my right brain is on vacation right now, and 4) critiquing is a valuable part of writing.

As I told my friend Ellie this week, writing is HARD. Really, really hard. Sometimes the only thing to make writing bearable is connecting with other writers. If a writer helps me, I want to pass that knowledge on to other writers. Call it Writing Karma, or the Circle of Writing, or whatever you want. I'm still learning everyday, but at least others can learn along with me!

We all want to improve our writing skills, but it takes so much work. Just when we've finally figured out characters, voice, and plot . . . darn, now we have to remember grammar and mechanics. And while concentrating on grammar, we lost track of our plot. Throw in the fact that we're unavoidably biased about our own stories, and it's a wonder we manage to create anything worth reading!

That's where critiques help---unbiased readers can offer you new outlooks and suggestions. For an unpublished writer, it's also a first taste of rejection if someone doesn't like our story. I'm all for dealing with rejection . . . but that's not the main objective of my critiques. I just want to provide a fresh view of your excerpt, give you something to think about. And if I can convey anything about grammar in the process, all the better.

So please, offer helpful feedback to these brave souls! Encourage them to keep writing, but also give them the tools to improve!

All right, enough rambling from me. Let's get to this week's critique---featuring Ann! This excerpt is from the first draft of Ann's YA novel, a work in progress. In the story, Sean is sixteen and Clara is fourteen. Ann's major concern is that Clara sounds younger than fourteen. She'd appreciate any of your thoughts about Clara's "voice." I know at least two fourteen-year-olds who read this blog, so I hope they chime in, too! The excerpt:

_____________________________________________

“Awwwwww, don’t cry, c’mon…….there’s enough salt water out here.”

“You want to know why I did what I did at your stupid party? Well, I’ll tell you why,” Clara said through clenched teeth, turning again to look at Sean. “It was because…because I thought your crazy aunt was going to…going to stab you with the cake knife…so there.”

Sean stared at her.

“You thought Maeve was going to knife me? You gotta be kidding!” Suddenly he was laughing, and just as suddenly, Clara was laughing with him.

“Whoa, I really am crazy,” she gulped, subsiding into a fit of giggles.

“So, are we friends again?” Sean asked, grinning at her.

“Yeah, guess so. I still think your aunt is weird though!”

"Well, she's a bit strange sometimes. But I like her enough," he said, a bit defensively.

____________________________________________

Disclaimer: I am not an expert. These are just my opinions and thoughts.

Overall, very clean writing and few mistakes! I laughed at the line, "there's enough salt water out here," (because they're on a boat). I like the back-and-forth between Sean and Clara, how it goes from tense to humorous. I think Clara's honesty with Sean makes this an important scene.

Point #1: Let's talk about ellipses for a minute. I love ellipses, but I always have to remind myself not to go overboard. The ellipsis mark should be written as three spaced periods, with a space before and after the ellipsis. Example: C'mon . . . there's enough salt water. Also, like most special punctuation (dashes, semicolons, etc), you don't want to use it too often. Three times in one sentence is probably too much.

Point #2: Check out the last four lines of dialogue---they all start with an introductory word, comma, and short phrase. It's a mechanical type of repetition. For the most part, I don't think those introductory words are really necessary. See my rewrite example below.

Point #3: I'm easily confused (and pulled out of a story), when a character's action and dialogue are separated into two paragraphs. Example: Sean stared at her. *new paragraph* "You thought Maeve . . . " At first, I assumed Clara was the one speaking, until I read the rest of the line and figured it out. But why risk even a moment of confusion? This could be a matter of personal taste, but I would write it as one paragraph.

Point #4: I'm undecided about the many w's in Awwwwww. Sometimes you can get away with this in first-person narrative (like in Meg Cabot's PRINCESS DIARIES), but dialogue is trickier. All those w's put a lot of emphasis on the word. So think about whether Aww would work, or if you really do need to draw it out.

Point #5: I'm also undecided about the last word, defensively. I doubt this is a necessary adverb. Can't we assume that Sean is defensive, based on his words and the context? But the excerpt isn't full of adverbs, so I'm tempted to let it stay.

Point #6: After combing my manuscripts for passive tense, I now hate the word "was." Don't write "was" unless you have to!

Point #7: The main concern is Clara's dialogue---too young or not? Maybe it depends on Clara's maturity? I do notice a few choice words that make her sound young: whoa, so there, weird, stupid. People over fourteen use those words of course, but maybe not all the words in a short amount of time. Still, I think Clara might pass as fourteen, especially if you changed a word here and there. Try to avoid a large amount of slang words or filler words (such as "like"). Make every word of dialogue count. Clara's rant in the second paragraph is wordy . . . but I can imagine all those words spilling out in a rush, so I kinda prefer it that way.

Sorry, didn't mean to make seven points. Ann's excerpt got me thinking---in a good way! Just as an example (not as gospel), I'll try a rewrite:

___________________________________________
“Aww, don’t cry. C’mon . . . there’s enough saltwater out here.”

“You want to know why I did what I did at your stupid party? I’ll tell you why,” Clara said through clenched teeth, turning again to look at Sean. “It was because . . . because I thought your crazy aunt was going to . . . going to stab you with the cake knife. So there.”

Sean stared at her. “You thought Maeve was going to knife me? You gotta be kidding!” Suddenly he laughed. Then Clara laughed, unable to stop herself.

“Whoa, I really am crazy,” she gulped, subsiding into a fit of giggles.

“Are we friends again?” Sean asked, grinning at her.

“Guess so. I still think your aunt is weird though!”

“She’s a bit strange sometimes. But I like her well enough,” he said defensively.

__________________________________________________

This doesn't seem much different than the original, just a few minor changes. I'm not even sure the changes I made are right! So I'm curious to hear opinions from everyone else! Feel free to offer constructive criticism (paired with praise!).

Ann, thank you so much for sacrificing your excerpt! It was a pleasure to read your story! Let me know if you have any questions, okay??

Lots of Late Links

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 18:32:31 GMT

*cross-posted from http://emrowan.com*

I haven't shared links in so long, and my crowded inbox is driving me crazy. I hope at least one of these links proves useful to you ...

Nathan Bransford's "Will Authors of the Future Need Publishers?"

The possible future of newspapers and magazines.

The nuts and bolts of how a book gets published.

Rachelle Gardner explains advances and commissions for authors and myths of publishing and why you should go to writer's conferences. Whew!

Can't decide whether or not you want to start your own blog? Check this out.

Get inspired by the 25 Best Writing Blogs of 2009.

Ranking social networks---find out which is best for you.

Your professional Facebook strategy.

Should you write a memoir?

How to identify the literary agent of any book.

Find out what makes a good pitch(for a novel, not for baseball).

Examples of good hooks for children's books.

Should children's books be content-rated like movies and video games?

A checklist for tightening your manuscript.

Want to join a community of writers who post short stories every Friday? Read more about #fridayflash.

Quote of the week, brought to you by N. M. Kelby: "I write when I am sleeping, lying, eating, flirting, praying, and pulling weeds. Living life is writing. It’s paper optional."

I love that quote! Have a great day in the writing life!

Critique #1

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 06:43:54 GMT

*cross-posted from http://emrowan.com*

Based on the feedback I received from you fabulous blog readers last week, I'm starting a new agenda for "YA on Saturday." Each week I'll mix it up and try something different, so it won't be the same format every Saturday (unless I get all questions or all critiques). Today I'm doing a critique because Syd bravely offered me her story. Thanks, Syd!!

Please don't judge Syd based on this excerpt. This is the first draft of her first novel, and I purposely picked one of her weaker scenes as a means of illustration. I could've picked one of her many brilliant excerpts, but that would've defeated the purpose of a public critique. This part won't make sense without the context; just know that Ari is relating an incident to her best friend, Jess ...

____________________________________________

"Okay. Go back for a second. What do you mean you felt like Cy was watching you?"

"Well it was really too dark to tell what he was looking at. But you know when you get the feeling that someone is watching you?"

Jess nodded her agreement completely engrossed in the story.

"Well that's what it felt like. And right when I told the guy with the snake to take a hike Cy smiled. There wasn't anyone else around him, so it's not like he heard a good joke and decided to crack a smile."

Jess frowned, "Well if you couldn't tell he was checking you out or not, he must have been a ways away, right?"

"Yeah...all the way across the dance floor and in the corner by the bar."

"So how'd he hear you?"

"That's the weird part. I have no idea. And I could be completely wrong. Like I said, it just felt that way."

Jess gently prodded, "Okay, so then what happened?"

______________________________________________

Disclaimer: the following opinions are just that---opinions. I am not an expert. I am not always right (as much as I hate to admit that).

First, I have some points to make.

Point #1: Notice the Jess frowned*comma* and Jess gently prodded *comma*. I see this mistake a lot when I'm editing stories. Those commas should be periods. Only use a comma if it's: Jess said, "Okay ..." OR if it's a synonym of said (whispered, shouted, gasped, asked, etc). Jess frowned. That's a sentence, so treat it as one. Jess did not frown her words; her face frowned. Likewise, Jess did not prod the words---she prodded Ari. In this case, I don't think the prodded is even necessary; we can tell by her dialogue that Jess is prodding Ari. Showing is better than telling, so explaining Jess's behavior here is repetitive telling. A common mistake I see is: Someone laughed, "Good joke." Use a period after laughed. Or you could write: Laughing, she said, "Good joke."

Point #2: Notice that Well and Okay start lines of dialogue more than once in this excerpt. I'm guilty of this, too. I say Well and Okay a lot in real life, so I put those words in to attempt realistic dialogue. Good intentions, but bad idea. Yeah, dialogue should be realistic ... but writing dialogue doesn't always equate dictation from real life. Dialogue in a story has to be quick and snappy. Don't use a lot of repetitive, unnecessary words that distract the reader. Maybe once in awhile you could use a Well or an Okay, but only if it's vital (like the character is stalling for time or at a loss of words).

Point #3: I'd like to see a little more action, especially from Ari. You don't have to add a tag (action or description) to every line of dialogue, but don't go too long without a reference to the character or surroundings.

Now ... let me try rewriting this (just as an example, not as "My word is final"). I'll add some commas and phrases, delete extra words, and put spaces around the ellipsis---one space before and one space after. I'll also delete words that tell rather than show. See if you notice the changes:
__________________________________________________________________

"Go back for a second." Jess flipped her hands palm out, halting the conversation. "You felt like Cy was watching you? What does that mean?"

Ari fidgeted and glanced around the restaurant. "You know that feeling, like someone is watching you?

Jess nodded, her mouth slack.

"That's what it felt like. When I told the guy with the snake to take a hike, Cy smiled. But he was alone, so why would he smile?"

"You couldn't tell if he was checking you out," Jess said with a frown, "so he must've been far away, right?"

"Yeah ... across the dance floor and in the corner by the bar."

"So how'd he hear you?"

Rubbing her temples, Ari sighed. "I have no idea. That's why it seems so weird. Forget what I felt---I must be completely wrong."

Jess quirked an eyebrow. "So then what happened?"

_____________________________________________

Again, this is just an example. By rewriting this, I'm overriding Syd's voice and original intentions. She'll have to rewrite it again to fit her own needs.

I want to point out one more thing. Instead of writing: Ari felt uncomfortable with the topic, I wrote: Ari fidgeted ... Instead of writing: Jess was completely engrossed in the story, I wrote: Jess nodded, her mouth slack. Not the best examples, but I hope they illustrate the difference between showing and telling.

Anyone want to offer further thoughts or suggestions for Syd? Constructive criticism is welcome, but I will delete anything hurtful or derogatory. When giving advice, it always helps to sandwich it with praise. Example: "I like Jess's concern for Ari. I want to see more description though. Loving Ari's dilemma!"

Most importantly, thanks to Syd for submitting her work and making this post possible! Follow her lead and email me your own story's excerpt (approximately 100 words in length). Or email me any questions you'd like to see answered on a future post. You can remain anonymous, if you wish! Hope to hear from you soon!